Being new to sexual recovery can be a confusing and daunting experience. Often, there are many questions, including about where to begin.
We address basic questions about sexual compulsion here, and provide links to more detailed recovery information below.
Compulsive sex takes many forms. It is sexual behaviour which we feel is out of control. Part of the problem is the delusion that we do have control over such behaviour. It might be that we just can't stay out of the parks, restrooms, or bookstores, no matter how hard we try. Perhaps we can't stop calling phone sex lines even though we clearly can't afford to continue. We may spend rent and food money on prostitutes, pornography and sex toys. Maybe we can't keep our eyes and our attention off certain body parts of others. Excessive, repeated and/or painful masturbation may be a problem for us. We may end up in bed (or any variety of public places) having sex with just about any partner, no matter how dangerous, unattractive, abusive or unhealthy, just because we feel we have to have sex. We feel we can't stop ourselves. Sexual compulsion could be an inability to stop saying things that have a sexual connotation, making suggestions and innuendos to others or even persistently using sexual humour inappropriately. It may take a variety of other forms as well. It may even be an obsession with avoiding anything sexual. The variations are endless.
From: Q & A - Questions and Answers: A Guide for Newcomers To Sexual Compulsives Anonymous © 1993 SCA International Service Organization
Sexual compulsion and sex addiction can also include, but not be limited to, such issues, activities and behaviours as the following: romantic obsession, love addiction, sexual codependency, sexual anorexia, avoidance of sexual and romantic relationships, pornography addiction, internet pornography addiction, cybersex addiction, webcam and chat room sex/porn addiction, voyeurism, exhibitionism, compulsive masturbation, compulsive sex with spouse or partner, multiple partners, unfaithfulness, extramarital affairs, anonymous sex, one night stands, preoccupation with sexual fantasy, escaping reality through sex, avoiding feelings through sex, frequenting massage parlours, frequenting bathhouses, frequenting sex clubs, public sex, unsafe sex, illegal sex, paying for sex, and sexual and romantic behaviours that result in negative consequences.
Broadly speaking, these are umbrella terms for compulsive sexual behaviour that are interchangeable with sexual compulsion. They encompass a large number of compulsive behaviours, many of which are described above.
If you are wondering whether you are sexually compulsive, we suggest you read The Characteristics Most of Us Seem To Have In Common, and read and answer our self-evaluation questionnaire Twenty Questions on the accompanying pages. There is also a link to the SCA International Service Organization website below, where there are more detailed materials on sexual compulsion and the SCA Program of Recovery, which you may wish to read.
SCA is open to all those with a desire to recover from sexual compulsion in any and all of its manifold forms of expression, including the use of technology to avoid intimacy and the compulsive avoidance of sex, also known as sexual anorexia.
If you think you have a problem, the next step is to attend a meeting. Members of SCA find that meetings are one of the most important tools needed to recover from sexual compulsion. Meetings are a safe place where we share our experience, strength and hope with each other to better understand our common problem and work together towards the solution.
SCA suggests that newcomers attend at least six meetings before deciding whether or not the SCA Program of Recovery is something they want to pursue.
Please see our meeting information on the Home Page and meeting list on the Area Meetings page.
For more information, please click on this link to the SCA International Service Organization.
Only you can decide if you are sexually compulsive and want to become a member of SCA. The only requirement for SCA membership is a desire to stop having compulsive sex. You are a member of SCA when you decide you are.
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