Compulsive sex takes many forms. It is sexual behaviour which we feel is out of control. Part of the problem is the delusion that we do have control over such behaviour. It might be that we just can't stay out of the parks, restrooms, or bookstores, no matter how hard we try. Perhaps we can't stop calling phone sex lines even though we clearly can't afford to continue. We may spend rent and food money on prostitutes, pornography and sex toys. Maybe we can't keep our eyes and our attention off certain body parts of others. Excessive, repeated and/or painful masturbation may be a problem for us. We may end up in bed (or any variety of public places) having sex with just about any partner, no matter how dangerous, unattractive, abusive or unhealthy, just because we feel we have to have sex. We feel we can't stop ourselves. Sexual compulsion could be an inability to stop saying things that have a sexual connotation, making suggestions and innuendos to others or even persistently using sexual humor inappropriately. It may take a variety of other forms as well. It may even be an obsession with avoiding anything sexual. The variations are endless.
(Copyright 1993 SCA International Service Organization)
Sexual compulsion and sex addiction can also include such issues, activities and behaviours as the following: romantic obsession, love addiction, sexual codependency, sexual anorexia, avoidance of sexual and romantic relationships, porn addiction, internet porn addiction, cybersex addiction, voyeurism, exhibitionism, compulsive masturbation, compulsive sex with spouse or partner, multiple partners, unfaithfulness, extramarital affairs, anonymous sex, one night stands, preoccupation with sexual fantasy, escaping reality through sex, avoiding feelings through sex, frequenting massage parlours, frequenting bathhouses, frequenting sex clubs, public sex, unsafe sex, illegal sex, paying for sex, and sexual and romantic behaviours that result in negative consequences.
If you are wondering whether you are sexually compulsive, we suggest you read "The Characteristics Most of Us Seem To Have In Common," and read and answer our self-evaluation questionnaire "Twenty Questions" on the following pages. There is also a link to the SCA International Service Organization website below, where there are more detailed materials on sexual compulsion and the SCA Program of Recovery, which you may wish to read afterwards.
If you think you have a problem, the next step is to attend a meeting. Members of SCA find that meetings are one of the most important tools needed to recover from sexual compulsion. Meetings are a safe place where we share our experience, strength and hope with each other to better understand our common problem and work together towards the solution.
Please see our meeting lists on the Home and Area Meetings pages. For more information, please click on this link to the SCA International Service Organization website: www.sca-recovery.org